Spring Break 032509

So far so good :) been out and about for the past couple of days. i mean, things could have been better with ryan but atleast its gradually getting there. we have our ups and downs but slowly getting better everyday. we just fight about the littlest things but then at the end of the day we tend to work out our differences. tonight i might go and sleep over his house if anything. well see what my parents say.

ANYWAYS! on another note, been cruising with dustin, michelle and jessica alot. i guess with everyone being so busy its always just us four. just the other day, went to watch movies with Dustin and Jessica, we watched "Knowing" its was an alright movie until it got to the end and then it started to get all scifi-ish and then everything made no sense. hahahahaha. btw thanks Dustin for the M.A.C gift card ^__^

Yesterday-didnt feel like staying home so i called up dustin to cruise and then ended up going pearls to buy maternity pants. too bad they dont have skinny jeans for pregnant people -__- ended up buy capris instead, its not so bad. didnt have nothing else to do so decided to check out the new Zippy's in waipahu. we bought food and called Agliam to see if we could come over. she said that no one was home so we headed to her house. ate and watched Bad Girls Club. then we had one of our UFA talks. hahahahha. i love it when us four get together and just talk, these bitches help me relieve stress ;) talked about michelle have alzheimer's, prom night and etc. had to go pick up michelles little brother and take them back home. then started craving ice cream so went to mcdonalds and took dustin home. called boyfriend and ended up falling asleep cause i had a mean ass headache. overall it was a goooooooood day!

what the hell did we get ourselves into?! 031809

here i we go again, im so sick of you treating me like this. treating me like im nothing to you. for goodness sake im holding OUR kid. if you havent notice its not long until shes coming and we still cant seem to grow up. im so sick of how you do whatever you like. shit, i dont care if you go out with your friends but you dont need to fucking lie about it or even leave clueless about your where abouts. youd hate it if i treated you the way you treated me. if i decided to go out every day and not care what you have to say about. I'd love to do what i want to do without caring about anyone else about myself. go and hang out and do stupid shit with my friends. like wtf, im a senior and i find myself at home every night or out with you. if i had it my way, i wouldve thought twice about what i did. i mean i dont regret having her, i mean dont get me wrong, shes the best thing that ever happen to me but the timing is so off. its my last year of high school, id love going out doing something stupid, doing shit that gives me the adrenaline. i miss being a kid but i gave all that up when i found out i was pregnant. i want you to realize that its time to grow up, we have more responsibilities that just going out and having the time of our life. if your going to lie about what your doing, then whatever im fine doing everything on my own. its gets me so fustrated that you think im never gonna leave, watch one day, your not going to even realize that im sick of just crying over you, wondering what your doing, and hateing myself cause i just dont have the courage to leave you. you know that im never gonna leave you and you take that into your full advantage my messing up every single time cause you know im just going to forgive you. i so tired of hateing myself because i could have done something sooner and now im too whooped to even stick up for myself. you yell at me telling me that when you screw up, somehow its my fault. if i decide to get mad you cant even say sorry, you find a way to make it my fault and turn the tables on me. then at the end of the day i end up blaming myself because i was stupid one for jumping into conclusion or im just blowing it out of proportion. just let me express my anger because i have everything bottled up and its so stupid because the only way i can vent out is on this blog and you dont even know what im feeling. i fucking hate that you treat me like this. like im some other girl to you. if im just like the rest then you should of thought about that before having a kid with me. i gave up so much and you think its nothing. i could have been anticipating on acceptance letters from the mainland but instead im waiting on your phone call making excuses in my head for myself to believe that your not doing things behind my back or once again lying. i could have been fucking up, doing stupid things because i know im still a kid and its my senior year but instead i decided to grow up because i dont want to be portrayed as those irresponsible moms. i could have been living life like theres no tomorrow but instead im on lockdown because i dont want you getting mad at me. In your eyes, you still can do whatever you want and thats not fair. i thought we was in this together but at times you make me feel like everything is on MY shoulder, that every problem is only MY problem -__-

just another saturday 031409

just pau cleaning the kitchen. waiting for babe to finish work and then gonna head to the hospital to visit his dad. hopefully hes doing alright. well anyways, last night i slept over ryans house for the very first time. we had the whole house to our self since his parents are in the hospital. babe picked me up around 8 and then went to buy taco bell since he was too lazy to actually cook something. & then headed to his house to watch tv and eat dinner. idk, but i felt hella tired so i ended up crashing on the couch and then he woke me up an hour later to tell me to go upstairs. tried to fall asleep but that dummy couldnt sleep so he kept me up also. talked about some stuff and then fell asleep. then woke up after two hours cause he couldnt sleep again. so stayed up with him ;) then fell asleep and then woke up around 7 and he was still tired so i decided to go and cook rice. i couldnt find the rice so i just went back upstairs in his room to watch tv. hhahahahaa. then woke him up again and told him he had to go and make me breakfast. he made pancakes and i did the dishes. had to leave the house by 10 cause he had work. he dropped me home and then watched lifetime the whole day. i love that station :) interesting movies was on today. okay bye!

drama o' rama 031309

yuuuuuuuuuuup, its friday the 13 ;D and no bad luck today. drove to school and picked up daniel. we was all hungry so decided to try the new BK breakfast shots. ahhh, its alright. anyways, in first period Michelle came to school early so i talked to her most of the time and then in second period, i took a test. during lunch i decided i was hungry so i asked michelle where she was going for fourth period. planned on going genki and then dustin and coojah tagged along. went to third period, which i have to say was pointless because we never did anything. just talked to priscilla and daniel most of the time. was super scared of cutting out fourth period since i didnt want to get caught and get suspended. stupid new rules. sucked it up and decided i was waaaaaaaay to hungry to stay in school. met up with coojah, dustin and michelle and headed to genki. talked and ate till school was done and had to go pick up jessica. finally got to see baby Khysten, damn that boy is hella handsome. i wanted to squeeze him but his mom wouldve killed me. lol x) but really, he is hella hella HELLA cute ;D i felt bad though we woke him up from his nap. hahahahaa. anyways, took michelle to pick up his little brother. he is HA-LA-RIOUS! even when he isnt saying anything funny, he still cracks me up. thats where i fell, i want to go see my skin. hahahahhahaaha. anyways, took jessica to Zippy's cause she wanted to eat and then headed home. tonight im sleeping over boyfriends house. kayy bye!

i hate selfish people 030809

last night was michelles birthday party. got to chill with Dus10 girls. everyone took shots for michelle except for me. obviously, im pregnant. lol x) anyways, before the party got into a fight with my sister and my mom got super pissed off. i never seen her so mad. all this shit wasnt even my fault and my sister knows it. hahahahhaa. well, it was like 7:30 and we had to leave to go pick up dustin. went to his house to straighten my hair really quickly and then went to the store to buy juice. headed to roosevelts house where lisa and paula was already there. vented a little to paula about why i was irritated. ANYWAYS, waited for everyone else to come. only roosevelt and rj ended up getting fuckd up and the party ended early. had a shitload of laughs when roosevelts mom was talking to all of us girls about sex. hahahahaa. i felt bad that they got mad at the end of the night. SOOOORRRRRY! at the end of the night it was just me, jessica, dustin and michelle. had an UFA session where we just talked and talked and talked until we had to go home. overall it was a good night. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE! was suppose to sleepover boyfriends house but he felt hella sick so i decided to just go home.