after no rest because Alexis couldnt fall asleep last night. i woke up at 8 and went to my aunties house to talk stories. ate breakfast and then got ready to go out to get stuff for my graduation party. as soon as my cousins picked me up, headed to Ben Franklin. what was suppose to be an hour trip turned out to be a four hour trip. bought paper and found out we can do cut outs there. made my favor boxes for my party. omgosh that took longer then i thought. whatevers had a shit load of laughs, plus it got my mind off some things. after Ben Franklin headed next door to Makoto Sushi. ate and talked stories. Then hit up longs and lastly price busters. ended up buying nothing. jennifer and i had to go to the post office to get boxes. it was so funny cause we didnt know if it was free or not. we was so scared of sounding off the alarm. come to find out the boxes were free anyways. lmao!
today turned out to be a good day. i thought i was just gonna stay home and start thinking about things again. luckily i had something to do to keep my mind off of things. tomorrow gonna head to ala moana to get more things like shopping bags ;) hopefully plan works out and we get everything we need. well it was only last night when we decided to call things quits for now. i thought i couldnt handle one day without him. im holding up pretty well, more then i thought i would. i guess time is what we really do need. we both know that things arent the same as it was before and maybe ill be happier this way. i know that things are going to be hard especially because we have a baby together. i guess everything does happen for a reason, well just see what life has in store for myself. i mean dont get me wrong, i already miss him and i just seen him the other day but i cant get that to my head. then thats when im going to want to give up and call him. i have to be strong and give myself and him some time to think. if things arent working out, im not going to force things to be the same. its not the same as actually having the same feeling. i guess with all the craziness going on in our lives, this relationship is one less thing we have to put up with. love shouldnt be a hassle, its somethng that you have to enjoy. i dont want to just live life being miserable and depressed all the time. he made me feel like shit with his temper and bossiness, i dont need that everyday of my life. i mean, i know i deserve more then i put up with. not to say that i was the perfect girlfriend but atleast i know i was always the one that TRIED to make things better. maybe later on in life or maybe later on this week, we'll give it another try. But as long as he needs to get back to his old self, then im willing to wait on this whole love thing.
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