IM SORRY -__-

here goes another emo blog about this corrupt relationship that i thought was getting better. i wanted to believe so badly that you was actually gonna change. that day when you said that your ready to actually give this relationship another try and make me feel that your in this with me 100% was such a relief. i had hope that i wasnt going to end up taking care of this baby on my own. that we werent going to end up like one of those couples that fought every damn day, i persuaded myself that things were going to work out. that all of this fighting was going to end. after talking to my girls about some stuff, they asked me one very important question " do you think you and ryan is gonna last" i wanted to say YES! but i knew deep down, it was gonna take more then we actually had the strength to do. im sick of trying to always make this relationship last, im sick of wondering where you are at night, im sick of thinking that your doing shit behind my back, im sick of putting all this stress on my baby.

shes not even born yet and i feel like im hurting her everytime i stress out. i cant help it especially with all this drama happening. your suppose to be the one thats making this pregnancy easier for me but it feels like right now is harder to cope with, then the morning sickness itself. all these stupid negative thoughts are getting to me. if our baby was born right now, i would tell her im sorry for bringing her into this world where her parents arent even ready to have a baby, where her parents cant even put away there differences to try and make a perfect family, im sorry for the stress i may put on her cause of our problems and im sorry i cant do more to make everything seem perfect. im really sorry!

all these rumors about your past that you keep denying is all catching up all at one time. & its more then i can take. then i actually catch you lying about who your with, instead of helping a friend out with there car, your galavanting AGAIN! leaving me at home to cope with everything on me own. you cant even be there for me to talk to me about our problems. going out with your friends is more important then occupying your pregnant girlfriend. if you havent notice yet, this is your kid. you need to start like acting like an adult. i want you to just understand that i want us to work out but if your not gonna try, im sorry its not going to work out. im at the point of walking away. i dont want to say it but im ready to raise this kid on my own if i have too. i cant take anymore of your lies. its not fair for our baby, its not fair to me. your being selfish and i hope one day you'll notice it.